I hope on the way back she knocks on my door to tell me all the things I didn’t see today
She leaves ten minutes earlier to take the bins out before the bus turns around the corner. Run. Same bus same day ten past seven.
In a everyone-working-from-home-world she is part of the non-privileged percentage. Commuting eats her precious time; a recurring thought she learned to overcome but a difficult win when the rain is non-stop. People laughing from their homes while painting their rooms or renovating the house; clearly using the not-commuting saved money to do it so.
From my big window I can see how she goes about life and have developed some kind of envy. Will she ever give in and crawl back into the working-from-home-world joining those who sleep more by avoiding the traffic. Is that so important I wonder; completely jealous of all the things she gets to see while away from this neighbourhood and right into the city. The life of the shops the cafes and pubs with people and dogs. There is no big window I could build that would give me that I don’t think.
Life moves as life changes. Fair to say I can see the rain from the window and on my window but is different from experiencing it; learning that an umbrella can be such a need yet so irrelevant when the wind won’t let it stand.
I move fast to paint the walls and renovate my little world only to find myself trapped in a false but strong sense of control until I spot a crack.
From that crack water finds its way into my cupboards bringing damp life and mould into my lungs. A minute ago I envied her who gets the rain and lives in the city so I can’t be that angry. My window is a man-made crack for the light to enter. If a crack can let the light in should also allow the water.
Life is bigger than my living room and as a matter of time the paint will be gone as the water runs and the mould grows and I am left without all those things I must have missed for exchanging time with more sleep. I hope on the way back she knocks on my door to tell me all the things I didn’t see today or tomorrow.
